A conversation between the little one and myself, after I saw her sitting in the corner of the kitchen…
Little Sofa had her first Sunday at a Childrens group which wasn’t creche today. In an attempt to engage her in conversation about it, Mrs Sofa asked her about a puppet that we believe might be Jesus.
Mrs Sofa: “Did Jesus go and see all the people?”
Little Sofa: (Very firm) “No”
Mrs Sofa: “Did Jesus sit down and eat a sandwich?”
Little Sofa: *Thinks for a moment* Yeah…
A little miracle happened on Sunday. The Church Sofa family made it to the Church service on time! Now this wasn’t without the toddler seeming to put her best efforts into making us late for Church. As we were leaving the house for the second time that morning, I wondered exactly how Toddlers can make you late for Church.
- The toddler asks… “One more Topsy and Tim / Bing / Kate and Mim Mim”
- The cry of, “I need a WEEEE”, just as you’re leaving the front door.
- Hiding your Bible. (Or using your Bible as a chew toy)
- The toddler deciding that, they don’t want that doggy toy, they want the other doggy toy.
- Dropping the toy Jesus just as you’re leaving.
- “One more Topsy and Tim / Bing / Kate and Mim Mim… Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeee”
- Wanting to go in the driving seat of the car, and making that known by climbing past their car seat, and into the front.
- Deciding that no, they don’t want the bribe you offered to get out the house.
- Hearing a cry of “Oh No, POO!”
- Wanting to bring about 20 to many toys, therefore its time to turn into a top negotiator, and agree on an amount of toys that are acceptable to all parties.
What other ways do toddlers make you late?
Congratulations. You have managed to make it to Church.
Actually hang on, you’ve managed to get to Church and not forget any family members on route. Massive Congratulations on not losing anyone.
Now, if your group includes a child, you need to remember – there are certain dangers you need to look out for when you take a child to Church.
- Being late, and having to contend with a church warden / steward “encouraging” you and your wiggly toddler to the front of the Church… whilst there are safer seats (and space to run at the back).
- Vicar: “Now lets take a moment of silent prayer”. Little One: “I NEED A POO!!!”.
- Formally breast fed toddlers getting jealous of the sight of a really little one getting breast fed… and running over to get a quick meal.
- The kid getting confused between a potty and the baptismal font.
- Is it your turn on the preaching rota? This will be the Sunday when your kid demands to play trains…with you… during the sermon.
- Has your toddler ever took their nappy off by themselves? THIS could be when they work it out!
- Toddler. Tantrums. Could be anytime?
- Your child refuses to be in their group (koala effect), but is too unsettled to be quiet enough for you to take them into the main service, hence you are stuck in the corridor limbo.
Any more you’ve come across?
Post originally appeared on The Dads Sofa.
Christmas with a toddler, I’m sure you can imagine brings its share of challenges and joys. Challenges are such as wondering how much chocolate you should allow them to eat, and for yourself, how much alcohol can you drink on Christmas Eve, and cope with the earlier wake up on Christmas Day. The joys… well… there are toys, Toys, and more TOYS.
But what toys should you bring to church?
We’ve done a bit of research and have found the following (mostly toddler) toys that are possibly perfect for church:
Daniel and the lion’s den
Includes a hole to play “Boo” through, an excuse to pretend to loudly eat Daniel, and a chance to make lion style “Raaaa!” noises. With no inbuilt noises, this would be a great toy to keep little ones quiet in church. Found at Amazon.
Bible Opoly Board Game
Do you enjoy those Monopoly inspired arguments? How about having an excuse to have those arguments in the back of the church hall? Bearing in mind this is “A monopoly version where cooperation and not accumulation is the key”, I cant help but feel that if youre sneaky enough to win at Monopoly, then you’ll win at this. Just remember to make your peace with each other before communion. Found at Amazon.
I’m sure toddlers would love playing with the money, or consuming the church pieces!
Plan of Salvation Ball.
According to the product description, this is “A squeeze ball to throw around and learn about God’s plan for salvation.” Perfect for a game of catch during the service. Even better for toddlers learning how to throw. Bonus points if the vicar needs to catch it at any point. Found at eden.co.uk
Plush Jonah and Fish.
Perfect for joining in with a baptism service… and the ensuring scream when the child in question starts to realise that the fish doesn’t actually swim. Found at eden.co.uk
Plush Noahs Ark 10 Piece Play Set.
All those animals! For so long!
Did they all get on all the time? Or were there massive arguments? Did a monkey try fighting a lion?
Bring this toy to church and let your little one work it out!
We’re told to make a joyful noise to the Lord! Make a joyful noise with these “Make a Joyful Noise Tambourines”. Great for use during sermons!
Found over at designed2bsweet.com.
Dont just listen to the sermon / talk on David and Goliath.
Your kids could be David with this slingshot!
Again bonus points if they (you) hit the speaker!
Hope you find this useful. Please share in the comments below if you know of any other useful toys to bring to church.