Bible in One Year

The Alternative Fact Bible.

Writing The Alternative Fact Bible

The political world of 2017 seems a funny place. In the wake of the festival of nightmares that was 2016, the terms Fake News and Alternative Facts have emerged around the internet.

Obviously it can be argued that these are both fancy marketing terms for well placed lies, or at least, a way of helping the establishment make its point of view.

What if the Bible was re-edited for an age of alternative facts?

What would that look like?

Would an alternative fact bible look something like this?

Would an alternative fact bible look something like this?

Any other ideas for verses that could have the alternative fact treatment?

Church Sofa A – Z Guide To Church. Bibles, Biscuits and Bishops

Our alphabetical guide to church life continues with…

Bible

aka “The Good Book”. Its generally thought that reading the Bible is a good thing. Reading things that help you read the bible is also considered a good thing. Lots of people try and read the Bible in a year. Last September we tried reading the Bible in a year. One of us got stuck around last November. The other is trapped around July.

Many people seem to agree that the Bible is a good thing to read. Actually reading it seems to be something else.

The thing is. With all the talk in churches of how good it is to read your Bible. What if people struggle to read?

Biscuits

Served with tea at the end of a church service. Or possibly during a housegroup.

Remember. Good Christians don’t take the last biscuit.

Bishops

Aka. The Boss. It was confirmed by the synod last year that while The Church of England is perfectly OK with women being a Church Minister / Vicar / Pastor… the idea of a woman being in charge was not really acceptable in these modern times.

The Boss sometimes visits churches to perform special things… like blessing a new church roof… or something. You can tell if he’s around due to the Church Warden using the following checklist.

1.Is the pastoral team wearing the correct liturgical uniform?
2.Do we have the correct amount of communion wine in stock?
3.Have “those” children been locked away in the crèche?
4.Has crèche been relocated into the basement?
5.Has the building been dusted? (In and out – yes including the tower)
6.New red carpet rolled out?
7.Crowd been taught correct responses?
8.Crowd now informed they are the “congregation”?
9.Do the “Sunday Morning Welcomer’s” look smart enough?
10.Does the communion wine have another alcohol in to ensure its elevated above the level of Ribena?

Any I’ve missed?

Why Do We Need Ruth?

The #Digidisciple Bible Train has now reached the book of Ruth. No need to stop here folks. No need to get off at this sunday – school – only station – theres not much to see here.

After all this book covers nothing about anything. Except:

Lack of Food

foodbank
Copyright owned by http://www.trusselltrust.org/foodbank-projects

Immigration

Photo from telegraph.co.uk
Photo from telegraph.co.uk

Death

Found over at tumblr
Found over at tumblr

Being Alone

seedresources.com
seedresources.com

Partnership

Seed Resources
Seed Resources

Romance

Found at patheos.com
Found at patheos.com

Jesus

Seed Resources
Seed Resources

No.
Nothing to see here.

Post originally featured on The Big Bible Project.

Bible in One Year – Week 52 #Bible365

Here are this weeks readings:

Day 358, 24th August: Nehemiah, Revelation and Psalms
Nehemiah 1:1-2:20
Revelation 16:1-21
Psalm 147:1-11

Day 359, 25th August: Nehemiah, Revelation and Psalms
Nehemiah 3:1-4:23
Revelation 17:1-18
Psalm 147:12-20

Day 360, 26th August: Nehemiah, Revelation and Proverbs
Nehemiah 5:1-7:3
Revelation 18:1-17a
Proverbs 31:10-20

Day 361, 27th August: Nehemiah, Revelation and Psalms
Nehemiah 7:4-8:18
Revelation 18:17b-19:10
Psalm 148:1-6

Day 362, 28th August: Nehemiah, Revelation and Psalms
Nehemiah 9:1-37
Revelation 19:11-21
Psalm 148:7-14

Day 363, 29th August: Nehemiah, Revelation and Psalms
Nehemiah 9:38-11:21
Revelation 20:1-15
Psalm 148:7-14

Day 364, 30th August: Nehemiah, Revelation and Proverbs
Todays Readings Are:
Nehemiah 11:22-12:47
Revelation 21:1-27
Proverbs 31:21-31

Bible in One Year – Week 51 #Bible365

Here are this weeks readings:

Day 351, 17th August: Ezra, Revelation and Psalms
Ezra 1:1-2:67
Revelation 8:1-9:12
Psalm 144:9-15

Day 352, 18th August: Ezra, Revelation and Proverbs
Ezra 2:68-4:5
Revelation 9:13-10:11
Proverbs 30:24-33

Day 353, 19th August: Ezra, Revelation and Psalms
Ezra 4:6-5:17
Revelation 11:1-19
Psalm 145:1-7

Day 354, 20th August: Ezra, Revelation and Psalms
Ezra 6:1-7:10
Revelation 12:1-13:1a
Psalm 145:8-13a

Day 355, 21st August: Ezra, Revelation and Psalms
Ezra 7:11-8:14
Revelation 13:1b-18
Psalm 145:13b-21

Day 356, 22nd August: Ezra, Revelation and Proverbs
Ezra 8:15-9:15
Revelation 14:1-13
Proverbs 31:1-9

Day 357, 23rd August: Ezra, Revelation and Psalms
Ezra 10:1-44
Revelation 14:14-15:8
Psalm 146:1-10

Bible in One Year – Week 50 #Bible365

Dusty-Bible

Here are this weeks readings:

Day 344, 10th August: Zechariah, Revelation and Proverbs
Zechariah 12:1-14:21
Revelation 2:1-17
Proverbs 30:1-10

Day 345, 11th August: Esther, Revelation and Psalms
Esther 1:1-2:18
Revelation 2:18-3:6
Psalm 140:6-13

Day 346, 12th August: Esther, Revelation and Psalms
Esther 2:19-5:14
Revelation 3:7-22
Psalm 141:1-10

Day 347, 13th August: Esther, Revelation and Psalms
Esther 6:1-8:17
Revelation 4:1-11
Psalm 142:1-7

Day 348, 14th August: Esther, Revelation and Proverbs
Esther 9:1-10:3
Revelation 5:1-14
Proverbs 30:11-23

Day 349, 15th August: Malachi, Revelation and Psalms
Malachi 1:1-2:16
Revelation 6:1-17
Psalm 143:1-12

Day 350, 16th August: Malachi, Revelation and Psalms
Malachi 2:17-4:6
Revelation 7:1-17
Psalm 144:1-8