Author Archives: ThatAndy

Married. Dad. Blogger. Gallifreyan Christian. Social media ninja. Photographer. Support worker. 12th Doctor. Short sentences. I write Bio in.


10 Ways That Your Christmas Service Can Go Wrong.

The Christmas Church Services. They involve many different people, in many different ways, and in different moods. Wonder how badly a Christmas service can go? Here are 10 ideas of how your Church Christmas service can go wrong…

  1. Has any one fed the donkey before it came into the church? Your dont want it feeding on little children.
  2. You ask the wrong kid to light the advent candle / crown – without a fire extinguisher on stand by.
  3. With a massive Christmas Tree like that, now’s a really a really bad time to discover the visiting preacher has an allergy to pine needles.
  4. How much mulled wine can the vicar drink before the sermon?
  5. Its Christmas! There is Chocolate! Anything involving children, WILL involve HYPED UP CHILDREN!!!!
  6. During that lovely moment when people are lighting each others candles, someone slips… someone becomes a human candle.
  7. That lovely piece of greenery that the flower arranger has done, with a space for a candle holder… with no one putting the candle out when it starts to hit the greenery.
  8. The combination of sermon length, plus temperature of the church hall? Hyperthermia.
  9. What happens when the donkey needs to go to the toilet? Whilst surrounded by toddlers?
  10. The song sheets being swapped out, instead of Silent Night. You’re now singing “The Fairytale of New York”


Any more stories people want to share?



10 New Ideas For Your Christmas Service

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock you would have noticed that Christmas time is up on us. A time when Churches become triple booked with many different Christmas services, it can be difficult for people who lead these church services to find an original idea to use.

So in honour of the season, here is the Church Sofa list of 10 New Ideas For Your Christmas Service

1. Don’t sing Christmas Carols, instead save the cost of printing out song sheets, and everyone can sing songs from Frozen instead.
2. Cancel the Christmas Services, arrange for people to go to a couple of pubs instead.
3. Enact the nativity play, but the parts are based on who came where in a game of Mario Kart. Eg If you come last, you play a donkey’s ass.
4. Have a “Who got the best present” competition. (Naturally lead onto talk about how the gift of Jesus is actually the best present of all.)
5. Take a collection for people who don’t have anywhere decent to be at Christmas.
6. Do you have a communion service over Christmas? Well as its Christmas, ditch the communion wine, and go with Port instead.
7. It’s been suggested that Mary and Joseph didn’t have much money. Celebrate this by teaching people how to cook.
8. It may well have been cold in that stable. Celebrate this by having a bonfire on the alter.
9. Ask people: Who should be in a nativity scene? Who was at the birth of Jesus? If anyone says wisemen / kings / magi, explain that after walking a long way to get there, they turn up late. Give these people a map of somewhere to walk, explain there’s a prize there, and tell them to get walking. Obviously the place they are going to, is along long way away.
10. If all else fails, bring in the animals.


Anymore that should be included?