Hello. Our Church Is A Mac

With thanks to @PaulMTilley @gerrarrdus, here are ten signs of a church being a Mac:

  1. Lets face it you look nice.
  2. Your Church building is very easy to find your way around – once you get used to it.
  3. Everyone involved is so so passionate! You dont need help with evangelism at your church… you do it anyway!
  4. Everyone looks so good, there’s almost a dress code.
  5. Pastoral care is nice and easy… No one ever feels broken.
  6. On that note… No one admits to getting a virus either.
  7. Style over teaching?
  8. You employ a creative director, because you’re that creative
  9. Leaky roof? PA system blown up? Thats ok, people can find the money to help replace bits and pieces.
  10. You might do the same stuff but you know it looks more exciting than the PC down the road

Any more?

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Hello. Our Church Is A PC

With thanks to @PaulMTilley @gerrarrdus, here are ten signs of a church being a PC:

  1. My Word! You’re a practical bunch aren’t you!
  2. Nicely accepting as well anyone can join in.
  3. Shame you lot accept any passing colds and other viruses as well…
  4. You’re honest. You accept your failings.
  5. If someone wants to bring their friend along… the chances are their friend is going to fit in easier with you than the Mac down the road…
  6. Teaching over style?
  7. You try and start on time, but it takes a while to get started.
  8. Remember that time everything was going really well, smoothly, in the flow, then it… all goes blue!
  9. Simple questions all the time. For Example “Are you sure you want to pray? Yes or No”
  10. When a service goes wrong, you need to stop, close all the church windows, then start the service again.

Is there anything we should have included?

Part 2 is due later this week…

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Homeless Soup Kitchens to be Banned?

If you haven’t noticed. Twitter was all a bit of a storm over the weekend, with Christians either having a moan about a new book from Rob Bell, or having a moan about people having a moan about Rob Bell… To the point he started trending on Twitter. Seriously… people thought he had died!

While all this was going on, a few people started muttering about soup kitchens being banned in Westminster.

Thats a joke right? In the age of “Big Society” and people looking after each other… instead of the government being involved… you would think that soup kitchens would be encouraged.

The Daily Mail seems to confirm this isn’t a joke…

Now why cant we all get angry over this instead?

 

(On a side note. Lets wait for Robs’ book to be released before we all go nuts…)

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The Church Sofa Weekly Roundup: The “Looking At” Edition

Well after a break to fix a certain PC, we’re proud to present the Church Sofa Weekly Roundup:

Dave Groberts looks at Chocolate Christianity.
Phil Ritchie starts looking at Facebook a little differently.
Richard Littledale looks at bus signs, and who we really are…

And finally… For those wanting a break from The Simpsons, The Huffington Post looks at The Top 10 Religion South Park Episodes. (h/t goannatree)

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Top 10 Embarrassing Moments In A Church Service

You know its going to be a bad service when:

  1. You’re singing loudly, and out of tune… without realising your minister has changed the song lyrics.
  2. The baby you’ve been asked to hold, throws up…over your face.
  3. If I told you about The Giggle Loop… you’d be part of The Giggle Loop
  4. The Prayer time starts… so does your coughing fit.
  5. You grab your bottle of Coke… open the bottle… swig… and it drops as you put it down. Its amazing how far a bottle of coke can spread over a floor.
  6. Two words. Nose Bleed.
  7. You’re sat dead in the middle of the congregation… and you need to fart…
  8. You miscalculate the amount of sweets you’re taking out your pocket… dropping them loudly on the floor.
  9. Its quiet. Its serious. People are crying. Your phone rings. Loudly.
  10. You stand up in front of the Church Service… and wonder if you really did your flies up earlier.

Any that we’ve missed out?

Married. Dad.

Blogger / WordPress / Email List Guy.

Photographer.

Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.