Dear Madam Church Secretary,
Sorry I wasn’t able to have a chance to touch base with you after the service today, sadly I was busy making sure the coffee was quite right.
On the subject of the service – it was good wasn’t it? Sadly the flower arrangement seemed a little big. That fact that I could never do anything like is beyond the point, but the Decorations were simply to big. I’m worried about Gerald the Vicar. The Decorations seems almighty close to his face when he kneels. I’m worried that one day (possibly after communion) he’ll lean forward that little bit too much, and poke his eye out, mid service.
Please have a world with Mrs Evergreen, I’d hate for an accident to happen. I’m sure all the other flower ladies will be happy to see her arrangements be calmer and safer.
Waste of time, or a great use of peoples gifts?