If you’re anything like me about 5 minutes into most sermons you might find your mind wandering off. The first thing I have to say about that is ‘bad mind, very bad mind’…or maybe not! Sometimes this wandering off might be that you’ve got a lot on your mind like something at work, what you would have been doing if you hadn’t been dragged along to church or any number of other things.
There is however that rare occasion as every preacher will tell you that the sermon is just boring. Here’s some challenges for you to do that will hopefully amuse you and those around you when you find yourself in such a situation.
See if you can tie your neighbours shoe laces to their chair or pew whilst pretending to be deep in contemplative prayer.
Search the weekly update sheet for mistypes to point out to the vicar later.
For the more charismatic types, lay down. Sleep. See how long it takes to be awoken by the sounds of people praying over you.
Cough every time the preacher says the word God/Jesus and see if anyone catches on.
Repeatedly try to catch the preachers eye and wink at them.
Tweet a message to The Church Sofa.
Attempt to get your row to do a mexican wave.
Hum the mission impossible theme tune and see if you can get out with out anyone seeing.
Every time the preacher asks a rhetorical question, answer it out loud.
Pull faces at the preacher and see how long it is before they laugh.
Let us know how you get on with these and if you have any more suggestions let us know!
Well we wouldn’t want anyone to think that we at the church sofa are biased in any way, so I’m going to give some reasons as to why the chair is mightier than the pew.
Chairs are usually more comfortable
Chairs work very well as foot rests, pews are much more damaging to the ankles
Can be set up for slalom races…better than straight line races any day
The give the health and safety person something to moan about when they’re stacked 5 times the height of the tallest person in the church
More useful as building blocks (i.e if you want to find out what Solomon’s temple looked like during a boring sermon)
On the subject of boring sermons a pew would be very hard work to throw at the preacher a chair on the other hand…
When you’re told to take a seat, with a chair you could literally take it with you
There is always one really bad chair that you don’t want…this encourages people to be on time
You can lean back on a chair on 2 legs, I know that is not what it was made for but we all do it
The youth worker is kept happy with chairs for when they have a crazy idea involving the whole church building, like when I turned the church into a beach by filling it with sand, turning the heat up, lighting a BBQ and playing volleyball!