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10 Christian Injuries Picked Up By Church Attendance

Church. Its a safe place isn’t it? Isn’t it?
Are you aware of how many ways that people can get damaged within church? We did some research into how people had been hurt within Church. Here are some of the shocking ways that being involved with church has physically hurt people*.

  1. Knocked out due to standing next to an excited charismatic, during an upbeat song.
  2. ADHD… brought about by an overdose of Church Coffee.
  3. Dead knees, from kneeling to pray for to long.
  4. Lung related issues, after seeing how long you can be baptised for.
  5. Paper Cuts from folding notices / song sheets / event fliers / news letters / prayer diaries / recycling literature.
  6. Football in face. Because of the youth club.
  7. Dancing in the aisle related injuries.
  8. One to many action songs have induced early onset of arthritis in your body.
  9. Liver complications from going to one to many communion services in one day.
  10. The band playing “The Happy Song”, has set off a bizzare flashback making you think you’re 20 years younger then you are… No, you can’t jump like that anymore.

We’ve not even mentioned the death trap that is Christmas services… Do you know of any other comedy Church injuries?

*Obviously some of the people we asked may have been winding us up.


Jesus appears in Red Arrows Show?

He’s appeared in a toilet, toast, a receipt ,a Nintendo, pizza, and even a spot of grease*!… and now.

Jesus has now appeared in a Red Arrows airshow.

According to the Daily Mail website**:

Thousands of spectators at an airshow were shocked to see the face of Jesus appear in the smoke trail left by a Red Arrows plane.

The bearded image could clearly be seen by visitors to the Airbourne show at Eastbourne in Sussex on Saturday afternoon.

But the spooky apparition then vanished as quickly as it had arrived when the trail behind the RAF jet disappeared into the ether.


Have you found Jesus in the air recently?

Found at Christian Nightmares.