A classic from the pen of ASBOJesus
Have you worked out what you want to be in life? (Well done if you have)
Are you wanting to be a Princess?
How about being a Princess for God?
If you have then this is THE book for you!
(Spotted by @god_loves_women at the Christian Resource Exhibition)
Sometimes, an argument can be good for the soul, or at least a good debate can be a great way to let go of some frustration, clear the air, and hear what people may really think about a particular subject
If you happen to fancy starting a debate (maybe during housegroup), here are a couple of comments that if you shout them loud enough, someone may react**.
- I don’t believe infant baptism is biblical .
- I believe Christian Concern are right about the London Mayor.
- If Christianity was alcohol, which alcohol would it be?
- We drink alcohol free communion wine right? Thats what Jesus would drink.
- Praying in tongues is to be encouraged.
- What do people think about women being able to speak in Church?
- I voted Conservative in the election, please don’t judge me.
- I dont think we’re welcoming as a church to *choose your own group of people*.
- The King James Version of the Bible, is the only true word of God.
- Ask why we need to meet as a Church on Sundays, as opposed to meeting with people at other times.
Any other comments you could make to start an argument?
**The Church Sofa takes no responsibility if any debate / argument gets out of hand in any way. We’re not even responsible for childish name calling… but that might be funny…
What if Darth spent Star Wars quoting the Bible?
(includes a little amount of NSFW – or kids language)
I guess it could be worse, it could have been Jar Jar Binks…
The Christian Resource Exhibition is hosted this week at the ExCel in London. According to their website, its “the only place to find EVERYTHING under one roof!” And that it has “300+ stands featuring everything to equip and inspire your church from furniture to films, pulpits to puppets, ways to worship and what to wear.”
Well with that many stands, The Sofa decided to compile a list of Christian resources that should exist, and therefore would expect to see at a Christian Resource Exhibition.
- A guilt meter! Useful to work out who is feeling more guilty at points during Church sermons, and therefore knowing who to look at what points.
- A bottle of patience. (Could just be a be a particular brand of whiskey)
- iTithe. An app to remind you to give money away.
- A CD of Mark Driscoll’s greatest moments.
- The Prophecy Diary. A diary that updates with what you need – before you need it!
- iVicar – An android vicar, incase the main one gets broken.
- The spirit of God. (in a can that looks and smells that standard deodorant.)
- Church Mask – a mask to wear whilst attending church functions which make you want to run and hide.
- Remote Vicar Controller. A lead to attach to dog collars.
- Church o’Coffee – Premade Church coffee. Get your coffee right everytime!
Any other ideas?
Is Jesus your boyfriend?
Do you want to look good for him?
Well with this make up (?) set you could!
… and on the back of the box..
Was on sale at Amazon.
Thankfully, in this case, it does appear to be satire… but I wonder if there is a “non satire Jesus Make Up Kit*” out there?
*That was a combination of words I never expected to type.